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Gilly's
Glen
Here's March, how happy. If you want to know what happened to me before March, there are links at the bottom.
3-31-02
Emily is back!!!! Yay!! She had lots of fun in Portland, and she still missed me! I'm glad she's back, cause I finally had someone to complain to again. I do it with Dina too, but somehow it's not the same. We hung out at Denny's for a while, had an interesting conversation with Jeremy. ;) We also got free coffee and left a \$2 tip. It was really good just to sit around and talk to Emily, cause I probably won't be able to do that for a while, though I am planning on *accidentally* missing block 3 w/ her tomorrow. But then we should go to Egg and I cause they have yummy food. Anyway, in three days I have to have my room totally ready for my house to be on the market because my parents will most likely put it up while I'm gone in Orlando. Tonight I also got my period, which is ok, cause I would rather have it this week than next. So my parents were a bit upset with me for not having my room done this week. I had to sit them down and explain to them how difficult it is. I mean, I'm getting rid of all this stuff that I've been accumulating all my life. See, when I go off to college, I don't get to leave a room behind, I get to send a few boxes to AZ with my parents. My furniture will be at Grandma's, and the rest either will be with me or trashed. It's very difficult to decide what is worth keeping and what should be gotten rid of. After I explained that, my mom told me that she was finally give me total control of my own life, she was letting go. In a way this is nice, because I am an adult, it's about time she treat me like one. But in the same way it's sad, and I know it had to be really hard for her to come out and say that she was letting go. All I can think about is going into work and telling Susan tomorrow. Emily and I found out tonight that Jeremy owns two pairs of boxers. No, he doesn't wear stinky underwear all the time, he mostly goes commando. I can't really tell you what Ems and I talked about for two hours tonight, but we did a lot of giggling, and Jeremy and the waiter gave us quite a few funny looks. Now I go to finish painting my nails.
3-30-02
I saw the Two Towers preveiw!!! Yay!!! I am a giant freak, but I couldn't care less! It was all cool, cause it was just a theatre full of geeks, and we all cheered when it was over. I even ran into Victor from work there, cause he and I are the LOTR geeks. I saw it with Dina, but I wish Emily could have been there cause she's read the books. There are all these new characters, and I could figure out who everyone was, but I kept having to explain to Dina. Plus I know the plot of the book and what happens. Of course they tell you that Gandalf comes back, cause all the people who haven't read the books are dying to know. Anyway, I got home after midnight and then my parents came home at one, so I didn't get a chance to update. Plus I was exhausted from this week, and I had to get up at 8:30. I had to be somewhere at 10, and after nearly 7 hours of dullness, I got out of there too. I sat at Jen's house tonight and watched Riding In Cars With Boys. It was decent, but not great. Friday afternoon I also finally got to see A Knight's Tale, with Dina. It also wasn't great, but I liked it because I understood all the stuff that was going on cause of Mr. Underwood. Also I like Heath Ledger, and the guy who played Chaucer wasn't too bad looking. My mom brought me back some cute Hello Kitty stuff from the Tuscon mall. She brought me a pad of Hello Kitty paper, a Hello Kitty Pencil, and this tiny Hello Kitty gumball machine. She said they only had medium and large panties, otherwise she would have brought me some of those too. I'll bet the mediums would have fit me. Anyway, I'm sleepy, and I need to get up at a seminormal hour in the morning, cause I have a ton of stuff to do before leaving for my trips in 4 days.
3-28-02
My face is tomatoe colored....the sunniest day I've ever boarded and everyone forgets sunscreen. Oh well, gives me an excuse to use my lovely refridgerated aloe. For those of you that sunburn easily, put your aloe vera gel in the fridge, it feels really really good. So I was supposed to be interviewed via phone on the radio today, we even left early skiing so that I would be back in my calling area. What did they do? Call my home number!! I gave them my cell number! Oh well, like I know a thing about crime prevention. Anyway, I'll just be amused if I get into work tomorrow to discover a dozen emails asking me where I was, why I wasn't waiting by the phone, etc. Whatever..... I am so tired right now, but I get to sleep until 10 tomorrow, yay!! I overslept for skiing, I woke up ten minutes before I was supposed to be there, and I had to get all my stuff together and then stop by and feed Tiggy. I got a little concerned today, cause Forest (the new guy in the Club) was getting a little to...friendly I guess. He was just getting too flirty, and I had flashbacks to Luke, and I don't want to go through that stuff again. I think he's been thoroughly confused though. He always talks about all these horrible teeny movies that he's seen bunches of times. So I mention Bring It On which he has seen, of course. The next words out of my mouth: "Yeah, I saw it only cause Kirsten Dunst is pretty hot." Flabbergasted the poor naive boy. Then later, Jackie is changing in the van, and says "Ok, Forest, Tom and Stefi, no looking!" The two guys in the van, and me. What does that tell you? *snickers* I think the combination of these two events got the poor kid all confused. It's fun to confuse people. I'm very proud of Dina, cause she said something today that I haven't yet been able to say. Jackie and Brenda were putting on makeup in the van when we got to the restuarant, and Dina just looks at them and says "What are you guys putting makeup on for? We're just going to eat." Right on sista! It's very disturbing for me to see Brenda wear makeup, cause she's never worn makeup, she just started this year, and she's as bad as Jackie. This morning, I rolled out of bed, splashed water on my face, put a hat on, and that was it. Well besides the rest of my clothes, of course. Heh. Speaking of nudity...we saw naked skiiers today. A bunch of college boys stripped down to ski. Jackie and Brenda missed it, what a shame. As Jen later asked me, "Were they hot." I replied, "It was cold." Sums it up right there. Poor little guys. Anyway.....I've rambled on for long enough. Emily emailed me from Portland, she's having a blast. Yay for her!
3-27-02
I love my life, I really do. For weeks on end, I have nothing to do, work isn't very busy, school isn't necessary. Then Spring Break comes along and suddenly I have no time for anything!! The next two weeks are gonna be really busy. I'm snowboarding tomorrow, then Friday Dina and I are hanging out. Then Saturday morning we're going to a surprise party for someone we barely know. So I was planning on sleeping during break, but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen. There's no way I'm getting up for a church service or anything on Sunday. Then I have three days of school, then two days of a conference in Copper. The next day, I fly out at 8am for Orlando. Then four intense days of conference in which several times I will have to be in two places at once because I somehow ended up being double booked. I'm helping with this forum thing, along with the NYN stuff. Of course a lot of the forum stuff luckily coincides with the NYN workshops. Anyway, then I fly back, I should make it home by about 2am. Then I will probably have to get up and go to school that day, and then next. Though that Friday I'm supposed to be doing a presentation to some Department of Health group.....too bad for them. Oh and I forgot! Tomorrow, while driing back from the ski trip, I get to be interviewed on the radio!! About my role in Crime Prevention through NYN. What the hell?! I don't know anything about crime prevention! And it doesn't help that I just found out about it today, and was informed to be waiting by my phone at 5pm tomorrow. I really love the way NCPC works. So anyway, I just need to take a huge chill pill. I think Sunday Emily and I are going to get together and go to Denny's. We still have to figure out prom, and then I have to find time to get a dress, prom isn't that far off. *sigh*
So last night I didn't update....I was really *exhausted* Actually, last night I went to the new Rec Center with Jackie and Brenda. I ran for half a mile and made myself very proud. We swam for a while, I flirted with a lifegaurd, and then I outlasted everyone in the sauna. I also got hit on by a pair of 13 year old boys. I'll share that story later, perhaps on the Bi Adventures Page, cause it kinda fits there. Dina, you may or may not want to read it, because as I told Jackie...You're Emily's friend too. ;) Anyway, we'll see, I may decide that I don't feel like sharing. I was doing pretty well with Jackie and Brenda until the end, when one of them really pissed me off. I don't really want to go into detail though. So anyway, I go now. Happy Birthday Jeremy (my brother)!
3-25-02
Blah. Blah blah. I got superglue on my fingers today. Actually just my left index and thumb. Boo. I'm really really tired right now, but couldn't go to bed without updating my page, because I'm soooo devoted. Tonight Dina and I went to the China Panda and then we saw Sorority Boys. It had no plot, but any movie with that many dildos has to be good. Plus the lead actress was pretty hot, and it was even better when she kissed a guy who she thought was a girl. What can I say? I'm bi, it's fun. Before going into the movie, Dina and I stopped to say hi to Emily, and I finally got to see the bubbles that don't pop. It was thrilling. Today at work I finished my job description, and Jill and I are now officially searching for my replacement. It's really weird, cause I'm going to be here for another 5 months, and we are already looking for the new person. I will have to spend two months training them, so it's not too bad, but weird all the same. One last thing.....Emily a month ago you gave me some advice, and I finally got around to trying it tonight. It didn't work. Figure it out. Night all.
3-24-02
I woke up before 11 this morning cause our stupid neighbors were cutting down a tree. I'm really sleep deprived, and they thought it would be fun to make it impossible for me to sleep. Grrrrr. Tonight, I was half watching the Grammy's, and right before I turned it off I heard something that really amused me. "And now presenting the award for blah blah is so-and-so who is nominated for an award and Ben Stiller who is not." Ouch. Then I left to get Emily and go to Jen's to feed Tiggy. Then we went to Denny's, and it was all weird, cause we hadn't been there together for a while, and I guess Jeremy had caught on. He joked about how everyone there was on "my side" though it's not like there was any particular side. It was just really amusing. We talked to him for a while though, and Emily really confused him by making a comment about the last guy she went out with. It's so much fun to do that to people. He also showed us some poetry that he had written that was actually really good. He asked Emily to guess his age, and I *whispered* 26 to her, but she guessed 33. Oops, he's 31 and he was like "I love you" to me. Honestly though, I thought he was probably closer to 40. I guess that's what working at Denny's does to you though. This afternoon, I just had to get out of the house, so I drove around and ended up at a park. I walked around for a while, even though it was really cold. I haven't done that for a while, just walked around, probably because it's been cold, but it was nice. Today was a nice relaxing day, I haven't worried about anything. However, when I came home from Denny's I was feeling very motivated, so I worked on my room for a while. I was gonna work some more on the site, but it got late, and I have to get up and go to work in the morning.
3-23-02
This morning, while taking the bus to the base of the mountain, I was pleased to find myself sitting new to older German men. I guiltily eavesdropped on their conversation, and contemplated saying something to them. I decided against it because I'm too lazy. Overall it was a rather pleasurable day boarding, though both my knees and butt are bruising as we speak. I am totally exhausted right now. Today, as we were waiting for everyone else to meet us back at the van, Tom, Ben and I sledded down this little hill on our boards. I haven't been sledding since I was little, in Wisconsin, and doing it, as lame as it was, took me back a bit. It was just a really happy experience, but I can't explain why in words. Just know that I was beaming like a little kid the whole time. Tom and Ben thought I had gone crazy. I finally finished Steppenwolf, yay!! Now as soon as I figure out what the hell Hesse was talking about, I'll move on to Siddhartha. I'm really really really looking forward to Orlando, and I know I keep saying that, but I really am. I am not leaving until I have been to the ocean, even if it is the Gulf side. I'm gonna be missing 5 days of school for conferences, right after Spring Break, which is bad. That pretty much eliminates the first half of April. Then we have a 5 day week. Then a 3.5 day week due to the ACTs. Then another 5 day week, the first week of May. Then the week of the AP exams, which will be 4 days long. Then five days, and then senior week. Then we graduate, and Emily and I do our road trip, then I spend the rest of the summer working. I'm also gonna play in a rec softball league with some people from work, which should be a blast. Then, I'll drive out to Wisconsin and start a whole new chapter of my life. I decided today that moving to Madison will be cool. I've already gotten myself involved in my community here, I want to start again, try fresh. I stumbled across an essay that I wrote right after I started my current job, and saw again the fresh, new persepective, and realized that I didn't have that anymore. I had lost it somehow. Hopefully in Madison I'll be able to recapture some of that fresh-ness. Anyway, I'm really really tired, I am off to bed now. Emily, please note below, error has been corrected. :)
3-22-02
I washed my car tonight for the first time in several months, and I'm happy to report that it is all pretty and clean now. YAY!! I am officially on Spring Break, and I'm really looking forward to it. My parents are heading down to Arizona for a week, and I get the house all to myself, which I love. And if that wasn't enough, I get Jen's house too. I'm watching her cat for her cause I'm such a good friend. Usually it's Emily's job, but Emily will be in Portland, so the lot fell to me. Basically, after Emily I live the closest to Jen, and I'm the most responsible, so it's easy for me to take care of "Tiggy baby." Tonight, I went over to Jen's to get kitty-oriented, and Jackie was there to watch the "Naked Guy Movie." We were expecting this film of a bunch of people from a private school that Jen used to go to, and instead we saw a bunch of people from our school. We were very confused at first, and then decided that we had been given the wrong tape. We watched anyway, with horror as they tried to freeze a goldfish in Jell-O and then killed someone's car drag racing. Then we had to stop, cause Jackie's friend Sarah had disappeared. She had gone to meet the guy she met at a party last weekend at this coffee shop, and was supposed to come to Jen's at 7 to watch the movie. Jackie called her several times, but she didn't answer her phone. Then at 8 Sarah's mom tracked Jackie down to see if she knew where she was. So then we decided to drive up to the coffee shop to see if Sarah had just lost track of time or something. She wasn't there, but we all panicked cause there was an ambulance out front. Turns out the paramedics were just in there for the music, but still. We drove back to Jen's house, and just as we got there Sarah called. She was over at this guy's house, and had "lost track of time." Anyway, the crisis was averted, and Dina, Jackie and I all went to see Ice Age which was the cutest movie. After that Dina and I went to Denny's, and I only let myself have two cups of coffee. I only saw Jeremy for a second cause it was early still. Terrence was there as well, but Tessa was our waitress. She's been pregnant for what seems like forever, but I found out tonight that she's only 7 months pregnant. She looks like the kid is about to drop right out of her. It's occuring to me that I talk about the Denny's waitstaff far too much. Jeremy, who I probably talk about the most, is about 30, so don't get any ideas. He's just a really fun guy. I should probably go to bed soon, I'm going snowboarding am morgen, I have to be at the Youth Center at 8am. Great way to start off Spring Break, no?
3-21-02
I'm sorry, I know I'm a horrible person. I didn't update last night. I'll make it up to you. I promise. Just not tonight, cause it's late and I'm tired. I didn't even get online until 11:45 last night and that was to finish up some research. Then I checked all my email, read Dina and Emily's pages, and it was 12:30. I was really really tired, so I just went to bed. Tonight I went to Stammtisch for the first time in a few months. Frau Dwire wasn't there, so it was just me and two underclassmen guys. The sophomore guy was nice, but he looked up to me too much, we couldn't really talk because he was still half afraid that I would beat him up or something. Oh well, not that I was actually talking in german. I kind of wanted to just sit there and read Steppenwolf but I decided to be more sociable. I feel sorta bad now, cause I can't remember the sophomore's name. It could possibly be Dan, or something else entirely. He was telling me about this place, Smith's Rock or something in Bend, Oregon and I got all excited. Sometime in middle school I wrote a story, and I picked the setting randomly from an atlas. Bend was the place I chose. This is only remarkable because Bend is so small. Anyway, I bet you're glad to know that. Today I found out that CJ is going to be in Orlando. CJ is my fling from the conference last summer. I kind of have a feeling that he's going to expect us to hook up again, and I really don't want to. I could always tell him that I'm seeing someone else, but then I wouldn't be able to hook up with anyone else cause he would be sure to find out. Grrrr. Stupid CJ had to go and make stuff stupid. I don't think he's even 17 yet, so that explains part of it. Today has been an evil car day. I got cut off twice by cars turning left at different intersections, and then I almost ran into someone a block away from my house. There's this three way stop in my neighborhood and there's a certain direction that people never go in this intersection cause it leads nowhere. So I never expect anyone to be coming through there. I've gone through this interestion literally a thousand times and not once has someone gone through that way. Then randomly tonight someone was there and I almost hit them because I didn't glance left until I was halfway in the intersection. I stopped and moved back, but the driver, an old man, freaked out at me. He was shaking his finger at me and shouting, though I couldn't hear what he was saying. It was really scary. I mean I could have taken him, but still it was freaky. I held my hands up and kept mouthing "I'm sorry" but he just kept shaking his finger at me. I'm gonna have nightmares about that tonight, I swear. Creepy old men. I can't believe that I have a whole nother day to get through before Spring Break. I don't think I'm gonna make it! I really don't. Plus I have to stick around here for break, I told Jen I would take care of Tiggy for her. At least I get to have my own break in Orlando, parent-free. In fact this break will be parent-free as well, cause they'll be in Tuscon. If only I didn't have to go tomorrow....but I'm sure I would miss something in Chem, and I know we're doing something in Psych and I have a Calc test. Dammit. Stupid school, why can't it all just disappear?
3-19-02
My right foot had three spasms in a five minute period. It was fun. Like my foot muscle just tightened up, and I couldn't uncurl my foot and it really hurt. Why would my foot do that? I don't understand. I am so sleep deprived right now. More than usual even, cause I didn't even sleep this weekend. And tomorrow I have a "quiz" in Chem, a test in Psych and a Midterm for Celtic Lit. All before noon!!! I hate high school. Then I get to go to Calculus, exausted and hungry. So why am I online even? Well I had to update, can't disappoint my many fans, can I? Then, after working for two hours, I get to go home, read a Ballad, finish my Hesse project and do a conference call at 7. It's a prep call for the conference in Orlando. Frau Dwire wasn't suitably impressed with me today, which disappointed me, but then I remembered that her class is a poor excuse for actual work. I'll ask her sometime if I can kind of do my own Hesse thing for the rest of the year like she said I could last week. I'm just happy to care about something for once. I have a C in english for quarter, which bums me out, but in the big picture quarters don't mean much. I just hope that chem isn't a D, cause that would kill me. We have that quiz, and I have 4 labs to hand in, so that might help slightly. Today at work, I finally got the Discussion lists working, which totally made my day. Plus Jack agreed to write another ref letter for me, and he even called me up to get more info. Talking to him always makes me feel good somehow. He's such a nice guy, it really upsets me that he's got all these problems going on right now. Jack is Dr. Hay, the Assistant Superintendent of our school district. He's planning on retiring this year. The Superintendent was forced to resign this year for stupid reasons. It just pisses me off that Jack's career is going to be tarished with this stuff at the end. The whole situation pisses me off, so I probably shouldn't talk/think about it. I don't need anything else upsetting me right now. Jack is cool, that's all that matters. Anyway, I have to get up early, and I'm sleep deprived, I'll stop sharing now.
3-18-02
Hesse is so awesome. I've finally gotten into Steppenwolf and I'm eating up his poetry and essays. I was so motivated about him that I even did some of my actual German homework about him. Shocking, eh? Seriously though, I'm addicted, the more I read, the more I want to read. I'm thinking I'll put some of his poetry up on this page, in english and german so you can truly see how amazing he is. Frau Dwire will be so proud of me for actually being excited about her class. This is the first time for a while that I've actually felt productive, and it feels really damn good. It got late really suddenly tonight, cause I've spent a long time looking for pictures of Hesse to put on my poster for class. Today during lunch I ran all kinds of errands which made me feel even more productive. I finally mailed all the Financial Aid stuff to UW, FAFSA is done, I will never have to deal with that crap again. Until next year, that is. I have to take full advantage of these productive moods. This one will be gone for sure by morning. Though its lasted over a day already, maybe it will stick around. Actually this morning sucked, I was in a really bad mood all through chem, but the day has sorta been getting better. Tonight studying Hesse and actually enjoying it totally made my day. Today at work, we found out that we didn't get a grant, which means that we don't have a budget for our initiative this year, besides the 10k from the school district. And we don't have that 10k for the Outdoors Club. I'm bummed. There is another grant that we're going to apply for, it's called Title V and I really hope we get it. They called us and asked us to apply for it, so that must be good, right?? Anyway, my day is all happy now. Dina and I are planning to do a movie day over break next week, though since I'm telling you about it, it probably won't happen, which seems to usually be the case for me. Oh well. But yeah, since silly Emily is going to be in Portland, we'll have to see LOTR with the new trailer without her. Anyway, it is very late, though it doesn't feel like it. I'm going to go sit in bed and read more Steppenwolf. Yay!!!
3-17-02
I've spent the whole weekend trying to read Steppenwolf, but I'm having trouble getting into it. It's not a very exciting book, and most of the *deep* stuff is going right over my head because I'm not really able to give it my full concentration. Like I read for a while coming back from snowboarding yesterday, with the radio playing, talking to Susan half the time. Luckily the boys just kinda slept in the back. Right as we were getting all our gear on, Jeff's dad calls me to see if I could watch Jeff for a while that evening. He called over a week ago, and I called and left a message, and he never called me back, so I made my plans for last night. But since I'm such a nice person I agreed. I figured I could be out of there by 9:45 or ten at the latest. And I figured since Jeff is pretty antisocial, I could just sit and read Steppenwolf for a few hours. Instead, Jeffrey and I made popcorn and watched a Scooby Doo movie from Cartoon Network. He also played his keyboard for me, and showed me what a great ballet/tap dancer he is. He's autistic, and he stutters so badly that you have to concentrate really hard to understand what he's saying. Anyway, his parents came back at 10:10, even though I had explained my situation to them. Then I went off to get the girls and we headed over to the party. Silly Jen didn't feel like going, so I had to DD. It wasn't too big of a deal, I was just amused watching Jackie and Brenda get drunk, and spend the whole party trying to figure out how drunk they were. And Brenda informed us that we couldn't leave until she got some "action." But then she refused to go out and get any action, she expected it to come to her, very Brenda-like. Later she puked on herself. Brenda wanted to go home, and I didn't have enough gas in my car to drive all the way back to Longmont, so we had to stop at Jackie's house and get her car, and I drove her car to Longmont. We stopped at Denny's cause I was hungry. Jeremy was there and he told me that he got a promotion, but I didn't hear what he said, cause I'm cool like that. But anyway, I've gathered that he's a manager guy now, cause he doesn't wear a white shirt anymore. Terrence was our waiter, and he still walks funny, but he has developed a sense of humor. The party wasn't great, but I had fun trying to guess which guys were gay and which were straight. It was at least 50-50. I ran into two guys who both recognized me from when I was in band freshmen year, and they were seniors. It was funny cause they were with in ten minutes of one another. Anyway, Jackie and I finally went to sleep at like 5:30 and I got up at about 10:30 and went home at 11. I was too tired to do anything, and too awake to go to sleep. Despite that, I've done a lot of stuff today. It recently occured to me that I'm moving in two months, and I haven't even begun to think about packing, and getting rid of all my crap. So today I started doing that, and I made a list of stuff I need to get for college, and stuff I need to do to get ready for college. Hopefully I'll have time over break to get a lot of this done. I'm not stressed about it just yet. I am really getting excited about going to Orlando in a few weeks though. It's gonna be such a blast. Plus I found out that I get to stay for four nights, instead of three which is what I originally thought. Yay!
3-15-02
I wasn't gonna update tonight, but then I figured I should since I won't be able to tomorrow night. You should all feel lucky that I am. Anyway, tonight I spent more time on my feet than I have in a really long time. Actually probably since I was in DC last summer, and walked around everywhere. Since my job consists of rolling around on comfy office chairs and school is school, I don't do a lot of standing. Anyway, one of my community groups was baking food to donate to a local needy families shelter. So I stood around for about five hours tonight, cooking, answering questions, delegating. Then Jill and I met up with everyone else from work at the new Rec Center. They are just opening and had an open house tonight. It's really really nice, and also about two blocks from my house, though I probably won't live at home when I start going there. As a City employee I get a 20% discount yay! Then I came home and did some stuff and was gonna go to bed, but wasn't tired enough. So I met Dina and Emily at Denny's and sat there with them for a while. I left a little after ten, and only got to say hi to Jeremy cause he was just getting in to work. He told me that he liked my hair, since it's curly now and all. I told him that I liked his too (he shaves his head), and we laughed. He called me darlin' and love like he always does, which I still think is weird. Anyway, then I came home, watched part of Friends, then got on to tell you guys about it. I'm home so early because I'm snowboarding tomorrow, and have to be up early. Tomorrow night I might go to this party, depending on how I'm feeling. I'm not feeling that sick right now, but I could feel yucky after boarding all day. So yeah, if I don't update tomorrow night, assume that I am out partying and having *fun* Night all.
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3-1-02
I've been having weird cravings all the time for a few weeks now. Mainly it's been Spaghettio's or juice or something. Tonight however, I just got a random craving to have a crying fit. Not because I'm particularily sad, or that anything is wrong, it just would feel really good to cry right now. Release tension or something. I don't think that I will though, it's much more satisfying when you have something to cry about. I don't know how you can have a craving to cry, but trust me, that's what I have right now. Luckily, I'm also absolutely certain that I'm not pregnant, so no worries. Anyway, Frau Dwire showed us this really awesome site today that I have to pass along to you. It's a crazy test, be sure to turn your sound all the way up. And don't worry, everyone I know has come out crazy, eventually. Some just take a bit longer to figure it out than others. *cough*Dina*cough* This week has been weird, like I'm all out of sync or something, just kind of floating along, numb to everything. Except for cravings for Spaghettio's. I work at a Youth Center, and everyday I realize more and more that it's run by a bunch of big kids. We are always playing practical jokes on people, like moving their cars when they leave their keys lying around. Well this week somebody ordered mud flaps for Victor's Saturn, the ones with the Playboy-esque siloheutte girls. They put them on there Tuesday morning, and he hasn't noticed yet. At least he hasn't said anything, and the whole office is walking around snickering at him. It's great, but I have a Saturn too. The exact same model, and the mud flaps would fit on my car too. I'll just have to watch out and keep checking to make sure they're still on his car. This morning in German, Stacie walked in and looked at my poem, which I had out in front of me. Remember I told you the title was "I love women"? Well, she took one look at it and burst out laughing, she thought it was funny in a general sort of way, the true irony totally going over her head.
Tonight I found a cup that was my favorite as a kid. It's a little white mug, and it says "Care Bears say have a bear-rific day!" I am currently drinking water out of this super special mug, of which I have two. I haven't shampooed my hair since Sunday when I got it permed. You're supposed to wait a few days to wash it, so as to let the perm set it. Tomorrow I get to wash it, and I'm really looking forward to it, cause I hate not washing my hair daily. I'll think I'll relax on that a bit now, cause I'm enjoying being low-maintenence. I am also getting vaguely sick. My nose is clogged up, and I have a sore throat that comes and goes. I just now took some vitamin C, but I think it's too late for that to help. Tonight, I talked to Dina on the phone for quite a while, and most of the conversation was the really cool Dina and Stefi thing that we do. I can't really describe how this works, but we always somehow manage to turn everything into a joke. Like today in Calc, we had a 5 minute conversation about something that should have been 10 seconds. When we finally stopped talking, we just sat there and laughed for ten minutes. I'm sure the rest of the class was wondering what we were on, but really we're just that cool. We were high on life, that's it. Yeah, I don't know how we manage to always do this, but it's funny. Mr. Kielian told a story today that had something to do with being a chick magnet, and we ran out of time at the end of class. He made a comment that if he hadn't told us the story about being a chick magnet, we would have had time to finish up. Then he said something about how all the guys in the class must be jealous of what a chick magnet he is. I laughed and said to Dina "I wish I was a chick magnet." Yeah, I love saying stuff like that, cause people think you're kidding, but when you laugh really hard they get confused. Dina and I laughed all the way out. Anyway, I'm not sure why you all should care about this, but I'm telling you anyway. Oh, and I finally got around to awarding Sandy her prize, a link. So go visit her site right now!!
Eeeeeeeee!!! My favorite song just came on the radio!!! I am just so cool, but it's been a while since I've heard "Little Black Backpack." Today, I got this package in the mail, it was a welcome package for registering at Toejam. As far as I know, I did that months ago, so I thought it was weird that they just got around to sending it. So I open it up, and find a bunch of free samples for beauty products. Woohoo! I rewrote a scholarship essay tonight, and had my mom look at it, to see if I got the right point across. I was surprised to see her tearing up as she read it. I mean, I guess it was a pretty touching essay, but my mom is usually pretty unmoved by my interests. So yeah, by that I guess it's a pretty decent essay. Wow . . . I had something else that I was going to write about, something interesting too, but I'm talking to too many people, and I forgot. On Sunday I got my hair permed, so it's super curly, and it looks really short, though I didn't get it cut. Everyone at work loved it, and all day I had people wanting to touch it. I had the same thing with the spiky hair, so I'm sorta used to it. Also today, we were assigned poets for a german project. Frau Dwire handed me a poem by an author she thought I would enjoy. I took one look at the title and started laughing. The poem was titled "Ich liebe Frauen" which means "I love women." I don't think Frau Dwire thought it through that far, but she does know I'm bi, I think. So yeah, I about died laughing, but refused to explain why to the class. I love stuff like that.
Today, I didn't even get out of bed until 1:15, which is later than I usually get up. It sucks sleeping so late on weekends, cause you actually are wasting free time, but during the week, I would rather sleep until one everyday. Then get up and go to school. Maybe in some other universe . . . or college. *big dreamy smile* Soon, very soon. Anyway, the rest of my day was not interesting. Well parts of it were. But I don't feel like sharing. Ha, wouldn't you like to know. Tonight I did a buch of school crap, well not a bunch, but a decent amount. Actually, not even that, I started some labs for chem, and glanced over english vobab. I also looked at a poem in german that I'm supposed to do something with, but I can't remember what. Oh well, I've waited three years to be able to do that, I deserve to not do any homework. I also got excited to watch the Star Wars trailer on TV tonight. I am such a geek. I happened to be on the phone with Dina, and so we watched it together, yay!! Of course right after it started, my mom came into my room to ask me something, and I tried to shush her, but she would not go away!! The trailer was 2 and a half minutes long, you would think she could have waited, but no, she had to talk to me right then. *big sigh* Oh well, I'm sure I'll be able to see it sometime again. Dina and I realized that it comes out on the day of our AP exams, so if we can find tickets we'll go see it that night. We can't see it at the special night before shows though cause we have to be up early for the exams. Grrrr. Oh well, it will be a nice way to celebrate, though we're also supposed to have a recognition ceremony that night, so it might be a late late showing. I am such a geek. Plus, I also really want to see Spiderman and Ice Age. I am a true geek. But at least I'm not a third derivative! Haha . . . ha. Okay, so that wasn't funny to anyone except Dina, but I don't care. :)
Tonight I'm in a really good mood for absolutely no reason. It's like, the past few weeks everything has been kind of bleak, but now the "weight" has been lifted, so to speak, and suddenly everything is looking up. I can't really understand why I feel this way, and I mean no offense to anyone, but it's nice. It probably started last night, when I came home and stood outside looking at the stars for a while. Anyway, I got up this morning, and my day started badly. My mom was being sorta nasty to me, so I was just a bitch right back. I could hardly keep myself from screaming in frustration, but somehow managed to just sit there and quietly sip my coffee until my parents left. Staring at that Madison pick fixedly helped I think. Once they were gone, everything began improving. Coincidence? I think not. :) Anyway, I got into a productive mood and half-ass cleaned my bathroom. I really needed to get out of the house, and it was such a nice day, so first I thought I would go for a walk, but then I decided that I would rather go for a drive. I ended up driving to the big movie theatre. I saw Black Hawk Down. It was really strange, cause the only reason I saw the movie is cause it was at the right time, and Orlando Bloom. But as it turns out, he's in the movie for all of 20 minutes, and then he falls out of a helicopter. But that's ok, he was really cute in a different way from Lord of the Rings. Instead of a wise elf, he was young and naive, which was just as sexy. Anyway, Josh Hartnett was also in that movie, making it the second Josh Hartnett movie I've seen this week. Though a war movie is quite a bit different from 40 Days, 40 Nights. I ended up enjoying the movie, despite how gruesome it was at times. Though the crowning moment of my big movie theatre experience was listening to the conversation of the couple next to me. The lady told her date that she had heard that they were putting the Two Towers trailer at the end of the Fellowship in late March. This is true. She continued to say to him, that it must be a pretty sad sap to see the movie just for a 5 minute trailer. I had to struggle very hard not to burst out laughing. I really wanted to tell her that if you had already seen the movie 6 times (like me) it wasn't that big of a deal to see it again, and if there happens to be a trailer on it, even better! But I contained myself and simply smirked staring straight ahead. I would tell you about the rest of my day, but I think I've rambled on for quite long enough.
Nights like tonight make me realize that I secretly love winter. It snowed all afternoon, but then the clouds cleared out tonight. I got home at exactly midnight, and should have gone directly inside, cause I was freezing and late. Instead I stood outside for a few minutes, just basking in the cold silence. It's like it's really cold, but you don't realize it, because the silence is so overwhelming. It's the same in fog. I just love that feeling of being totally alone. I was telling Dina this morning that before I die I have to stand in the middle of a huge field on a foggy day. I know it sounds really weird, and not normal, cause most people want to jump out of a plane or something. But just think about it, standing in a wide open field, but being completely cut off from everything in the world. Just thinking about it makes me happy. So yeah, I'm a freak about silence and being alone, but it's the greatest feeling in the world. Tonight we celebrated Emily and Jackie's birthdays. We went for dinner at this Italian restaurant, and this incredible Italian tenor sang Happy Birthday to the girls. Turns out he was also the bus boy, which was so sad, but also kind of cool. I finally got to give Emily the pink "I *heart* girls" thong that I found at Hot Topic last weekend. I wish I could have kept it, but they only had one, and it was large, so it might not even fit Emily, but I thought it was just the coolest thing. You should have seen the look on the guys' face when I bought it, that alone made it worth it. I also gave Emily one of those picture cubes with Lord of the Rings characters. I really wanted to keep that too, but didn't. I found out this week, from Victor, a co-worker who has seen LOTR 10 times(!), that after the Oscars, they are going to put the full trailer for The Two Towers at the end of the Fellowship so of course Emily and I will have to go see it again. Tonight I got to feel really cool making calculus jokes with Brenda, Dina and Sarah. If someone is ever mean to you, call them a third derivative, and if anyone else around you laughs, you know they too are a calculus geek. I should sleep, cause I'm getting up semi-early in the morning, but I don't think I can, I drank too much coffee at Denny's. I'm not even sure how many cups I had. But for once I was nice to Jeremy, and he didn't even hear me. But then he came and sat with us later, and made me smell him cause he had cologne on, and I told him he smelled yummy. But yeah, when he came in, he was like, "What are you guys doing here?" It was a rhetorical question, but I called out as he was moving out of earshot, "Waiting for you!" He didn't hear me, tragic. But I told him later anyway, cause I'm that nice of a person. Right. Now I really am going to stop. See look, I'm stopping. Uh huh.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I went over 2000 hits! I am just so amazing!! Congrats to Sandy, who was hit 2002 and emailed me to claim her prize. I'll get around to your prize soon, I just haven't time this evening. I have a chem "quiz" bright and early in the morning, and I want to get in half an hour of Lord of the Flies before I fall into unconscious sleep. I didn't do too well on my english quiz this morning, but I hadn't eaten breakfast, so I bet that's why. But when you're broke. I get paid tomorrow though, which is very happy. Then I won't have to feel quite so guilty about all the money I've been spending lately. I went to German today, cause I've been feeling pretty bad about never going. Guess what we did?? Made pizza, and watched October Sky, in ENGLISH!!!! I'm not too sure why I even bothered showing up. I even left 30 minutes early, and Frau Dwire didn't care. I think she's gonna start doing independent study stuff with us, cause we're getting to the point where no one is going to bother showing up, cause her class is that pointless. I felt really awful tonight, cause I poked Jackie in the stomach with a thing of cinnamon (we were getting supplies ready for this bake project thing), completely forgetting that she just got her belly button peirced last Friday!!! She just looked shocked for a minute, cause it really really hurt. She had tears coming to her eyes from the pain. I felt soooooooooo horrible!!! Yup, that was about the most interesting part of my day, which is kinda sad.
I took some nice nighttime cold pills tonight, so I'm liable to fall asleep at any time. I came home today, ate dinner with my parents, for the first time in a while, and then I laid in bed watching TV for an hour. I went to Chem. Study Group, which consisted of me, Brenda, Mike and Lauren gossiping for an hour. Mostly about the tennis team, there were references to last summer's escapades and a little bit of school. Yeah, we didn't study chem, but I didn't care in the least. Apparently Frau Dwire was really pissed at Lauren cause she ditched class last time to shovel the tennis courts. She actually went down to the courts to drag Lauren back to class!!! Glad I was miles away and safe at Denny's. I guess we're having pizza tomorrow, for no particular reason. I didn't miss anything in class, and I'm really not surprised. I have a quiz in english in the morning that I haven't really studied for. What I don't understand is why they quiz us to check to see if we read, and then those of us who read still don't get an A. If you read and don't get them all right, then it's the quizzes' fault, not yours. Today at lunch Dina and I decided that all Earthlings are elitist. Other planet's moons have special names, but ours is just "The Moon." And our star is "The Sun." We live in "The Solar System" out of the infinite number of solar systems in the universe. At least we don't live on "The Planet," that would just be too much. Anyway, that was our productive lunch today. And I'm starting to get sleepy, so maybe I should study some more before I am totally knocked out. Oh, and I finally realized today that my guestbook has been sorta dead for a few weeks, which is why I haven't had any new signatures, how cool am I? I think I fixed it, but in the process I deleted whatever new entries I had, including one from Emily that was really sweet, from a few weeks ago.
Looking over a scholarship application today, I almost started crying. I love this time of month. *rolls eyes* In case you're confused, while menstruating girls get really emotional. Once, while working as a cashier, an elderly lady came through my line, and she wrote a check. Her hands were disfigured due to arthritis, and she made me think of my grandmother, who has been dead for 8 years. I happened to be on my period, and my eyes teared up while watching her struggle to write a check. Any other time of month and I would have been annoyed at her taking so long, and maybe fondly think of my grandmother, but to just start crying? Consider yourself lucky guys. Of course, I have a soft spot for guys who have girlfriends, cause they have to deal with their girls when they are like that. Anyway, tonight I got all teary-eyed because of the "Personal Rating" form. I just kinda looked at it, imagining what Jill and Greg would write on there, and it made me want to cry. I'm crazy, it's ok, perfectly normal even. Anyway, I was all happy that I'm getting close to 2000 hits, until I saw that Emily went over 20,000. I'll just never be as cool as you Ems. :) But I want to say, if you're hit 2002 (my grad year), sign my guestbook, and I'll give you a special prize. And if I happen to be hit 2002, well then I'll just save the prize for myself. Today I missed german again for the third time out of the last six. Oops. I hadn't done the homework, and it was essential that I sit in Denny's and drink a lot of coffee with Emily. Right, that's what I'll tell myself.
I couldn't fall asleep last night. I had waaaaay too much coffee, considering that I haven't been drinking that much lately. I went to bed at 12, and at two I got up and made a bowl of Spaghettio's, which put me into a nice slumber. I slept until my alarm went off at 8, and then I slept until 9:45. I got out of bed, put my contacts in, and left the house in the clothes I had slept in. I picked up a book at the library, paid off part of my horrendous fine, then went to work. I stayed there until 1, when I got my period and realized I had no tampons. I ran home to get tampons and advil, and then back to work. I had two meetings to be at simultaneously at 2, which was also fun. I spent the last hour of work sitting in the kitchen with Jill, Amy, Susan and Victor just talking. We talked about college a bit. I told them that my parents wouldn't be here to drive me, and without even skipping a beat, they all offered to drive out with me. Which is exactly why my leaving is so bittersweet. How can you leave a family like that?? But I have to, I've made up my mind. I did FAFSA this weekend, glad that's over with. I came home and soaked in a bath for a while, reading Of Mice and Men, which I found quite enjoyable. Then I made macaroni and cheese, read some more, watched Ally, then finally decided that I needed to do HW. I wrote my book report and contemplated doing German, but now I'm think I'll blow that off. I've found that working on websites and other mindless tasks, that you can get extremely frustrated about, is a good way to cover up the fact that you're upset. That's my tip for the day. Also, I'm feeling a bit horny, which is not good, considering my present company. And I think I was a bit of a bitch to Dina earlier, if I was, I'm sorry.
So yeah, I didn't update yesterday, I was feeling tired and sorta sick, so I just went to bed. But I wrote an extra long thingy on Friday, so that makes up for it. Tonight I sat in Denny's with Dina for a while, and we just kinda sat around complaining about stuff. Like the future. The future really sucks. I mean, it's really cool, but it also really sucks. Emotion sucks. Like my feelings about the future are a combination of excitement, happiness, exhileration, sadness, anger and depression. And there's no word to describe all of that at once, so you just continually feel "blah." It's like the good and bad stuff just cancel each other out, and leave you with no way in particular to feel, so you swing back and forth between being happy and sad. Does that make any sense? Probably to no one but me.
On an entirely different tangent, tonight I also went to the movies with Brenda and Jackie. Brenda and I met before the movie at the mall and walked around for a while looking for shoes. I haven't hung out with Brenda outside school and work for a looooooong time. Tonight was weird though. Cause we were getting along decently, but I was sorta half faking it. I'm such a bitch, but whatever. Why shouldn't I be? Oddly enough, I feel sort of grounded again now. Like for the past few months I've been sort of floating along, and now I feel grounded, I guess. Not really sure how to describe how I'm feeling.
Another tangent . . . I finished Stir Fry in two or three sittings. It was good indeed. I reccommend it to all of you. Those of you who know me can even borrow it, once I'm done with my Emma Donoghue report for class. Tonight I am wearing my favorite t-shirt. It's 8 years old and falling apart, but I still love it. It's got a pic of two panda bears, and it says "Bear us in mind." But the real reason that I love it is because I don't have to wear a bra with it. I have a thing about going about without a bra, I find it very freeing, and do it occassionally. I bet you are just so thrilled to learn that about me. I'm going to stop talking before I tell some more of my weird freakish habits.
I'm updating, though I don't really feel like it. But since I am so devoted to my webpage, I'm going to anyway. We had school today, which sucked, but it wasn't that bad. The highlight of my day at school was Dina falling asleep in Calculus for about a minute before the teacher woke her up saying, "Are you ok Dina?" He wasn't too pleased, but didn't really do much. I can't really make fun of her though, cause I failed to notice that she was asleep because I was struggling so hard to stay awake. It was easier after that though. Work today wasn't that exciting. I almost left early, but 5 minutes before I planned on leaving my aunt came in to get her boys and we ended up talking for a while. It was kinda funny, cause Joey and I were sitting up front watching these guys try and get there car unstuck, and this woman walks past with short sleeves and no jacket. I made a comment about it, and Joey continues to rant about how a lot of the kids walking by aren't wearing jackets cause they think it's cool. As this woman got closer I realized that it was my aunt. I just started laughing. It was cool talking to her though, cause I haven't in a while. I was just in shock because I realized that my cousin Jess is 5 and a half already. When I first moved out here, she wasn't even a year old, and it doesn't seem like it's been that long since we came out, but obviously it has. She has the same birthday as me, and I remember exactly when I found out. I was sitting in "Reading" in 7th grade, I think we were watching a movie, and I had to go to the office to pick up a message. It was a note from my mom telling me that Jessica had been born. I was really happy, I'm not sure why it made me happy to share my birthday, but it did. I wanted to be her hero, a mentor to her. But now I'm leaving the state. But she gets all my old Barbies and the Barbie Corvette and Jeep. Not to mention my Barbie horse. How cool am I? Maybe I can be the cool older cousin who she hangs out with sometimes during the summer. Yeah, I like that. Anyway, random tangent there. Tonight I went to Borders to get a book for class, and ended up having to put it on hold in Boulder. Jackie and I have to drive over to pick up books tomorrow, woo. I also bought Stir Fry by Emma Donoghue. If it's as good as the snippet I've read, I think I'll enjoy it. I'll tell you more later. I hung out at Jen's with Sara and Jackie tonight, we played Pictionary, and somehow I managed to avoid most of the shouting and screaming that usually goes along with us playing that game. Plus since I played with Jen, I won. The game took hours, which was kinda sad, cause I wanted to call Emily and see if she wanted to hang out at Denny's for a while, but it was after 11 when we finished. But as I read, she found someone else to entertain her this evening. Anyway, wow, that was longer than I expected. Night all.